Everything You Need to Become a Master of Change

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You’re finally ready to make a change to ultimately improve some area of your life. CONGRATULATIONS!

Maybe you’re starting a healthier eating plan or incorporating exercise into your everyday schedule. Maybe you’re going to stop smoking or drinking alcohol. Maybe you’re starting a new financial and budgeting plan. Maybe you’re incorporating self-care into your daily routine. Maybe you’re trying new communication techniques or parenting skills.

You’re motivated and ready. You know WHY you need to change and have everything you need to do it. But you’re still not successful.

You’re not the only one. Do you know approximately 10% of Americans actually complete the resolutions they make on New Years? About 43% quit by the end of January.

Why are we so unsuccessful with making changes, even when we know all of the benefits and have everything we need to make it happen?

Change is hard.

No, really, it is. From a biological standpoint.

As humans, once we have formed a routine or a habit, it becomes hard-wired into our brain.

Our brain has two main processing systems: controlled (reflective) and automatic (reflexive). Controlled actions and processes are slow, require effort, and are easy for us to change or disrupt. This is the part of our brain that is actively working when we are learning or trying something new. For example, if you’re learning to ride a bicycle for the first time.

Once you’ve truly mastered a skill to the point “you don’t even have to think about it”, then it falls under automatic processes, or habits. These happen fast, sometimes unconsciously, and require very little energy or effort. This also makes them harder to stop or change, since they require interruption. Thus, the phrase “it’s like riding a bike.” Once you’ve mastered a skill, the mental effort required to perform it becomes hard-wired.

The Backwards Brain Bicycle – SmarterEveryDay

This video gets shown A LOT in change management and psychology courses, and Destin (the guy in the video) is a speaker at many workplaces and colleges about this very topic. It’s a pretty cool 7-minute clip just showing how something that seems so simple to change can really be almost impossible without a great deal of effort.

But When I Know Something is Bad for Me, Why is It Still so Hard to Quit?

These habits, or automatic processes, can be good or bad. Our brains can’t tell the difference. In some cases, these good habits that we don’t have to think about serve us well-they are things we do everyday, and if they are automatic, we can save energy and brain power for other things. For the bad habits, however, this makes that behavior much more difficult to change. When we try to undo that and change our behavior, our brain doesn’t like that at all, and activates our “flight/fight/freeze” response to try to get us back into our cozy, normal routine.

No matter if the change you are making is good or bad, your brain wants to default back to its familiar way of doing things rather than anything unfamiliar. Understand that whenever you are trying to make a change or break a bad habit, you are actively working against yourself the entire time.

Change is uncomfortable, even physically. Some habits include actual addictions to various substances, some changes may push us into areas of uncertainty and anxiety, and our brain is wired to protect us; to get us back to our “normal” selves.

We need to see value in the change to keep up the behavior. If the change and behavior is detrimental or no change is seen, we are less likely to continue with a modified behavior. This is why it is important to set goals or have checkpoints along the way to measure progress.

How Do I Become Successful with Change?

Understanding how change works and identifying barriers are both ways to help you become more successful anytime you set out to meet a new goal. Struggling with change is normal, and remembering that, especially on the hard days, can be especially helpful. Expecting obstacles and “bad days” and planning ahead for them is a good way to stay motivated when the hard times happen.

Another tip to be successful is to start a new routine, habit, or try to reach a goal when YOU are ready. If you feel forced or pressured in some way, you are less likely to maintain the motivation. If you have the drive and understand the true need, then you are more likely to keep up with your plan!

Setting small, attainable goals is another great way to stay motivated through a change process. It is inspiring to celebrate when you reach milestones or goals, even if they are small ones along the way.

Holding yourself accountable to completing your goal is another great way to make sure you stick with it! This could look like writing your goal down, having an “accountability buddy”, joining an accountability group, having a coach, or even posting about your journey online!

Ready to make a change?

Did this post help you understand change better? Leave a comment to let me know or continue the conversation here!